MELODY ASSISTANT FLASHING BUTTONS MOVIE

MELODY ASSISTANT FLASHING BUTTONS MOVIE

(On the other hand, that would make two people in this movie Flash has managed to kill with a plane.)Ĥ. I’ll say he makes it, though, if only because most heroes don’t accidentally kill people in movies, even if they are cowardly scientists. It kind of looks like Flash accidentally runs him over with a plane. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if Munson lives. Zarkov’s like, “But if you go in the rocket, you’ll die saving the world! Don’t you have any spirit at all?” Munson: “No!” And he runs away again. Munson doesn’t see how a gun would be any worse than getting himself killed in the rocket. Zarkov threatens him with a gun - which seems like maybe a bit of an overreaction. The best character in the whole movie is Zarkov’s assistant, Munson, who declines the opportunity to jump in a rocket to try and save the world from evil aliens. They go through a couple of adventures on their own and meet up again at Vultan’s palace.ĭale: How are you? Oh, I have so many crazy stories to tell you!Ĭarlie: Sweet Jesus. Flash is all but getting a handjob by the alien princess at the time, so it’s not exactly a romantic conversation between the two of them. Since it’s not, Flash is taken away to be executed - although he survives, unfortunately, because we don’t kill off our title heroes in the first thirty minutes of a movie, although I’m thinking maybe we should start.įlash and Dale are separated for a while and only briefly speak once via telepathy. They talk for a couple of minutes, hoping this is all a dream. Unfortunately, I’m being written by a man, so I’m just going to flutter my eyelashes in confusion and hold you tighter.įlash is taken prisoner, and Dale is turned into a concubine. (Which isn’t actually all that sexy but it’s supposed to be.) He releases Dale and she runs back to Flash.įlash: I don’t know, but it was pretty sensational.ĭale: Um, I don’t think being mentally coerced into sexy dancing is very funny, you utter jackass. Ming hypnotizes Dale with his Magic Ring and makes her do a sexy dance. It’s not like we’re dating, okay? But, uh, yeah. Flash looks interested.įlash: Um, we’ve known each other maybe twelve hours, and we’ve been asleep for eleven of them. They make it to some alien palace, where an alien princess looks all seductively at Flash. Flash and Dale are tricked into a rocket because they are the DUMBEST PEOPLE ALIVE and then they sleep for awhile. The plane soon crashes into a mad scientist’s laboratory, as tiny plans are wont to do. but on second thought, maybe later because ohmyGod, the clouds are bright red.ĭale: Oh, I’m so frightened! I guess I could put on my seat belt, but instead I’ll get up so I can cower behind you in the middle of the corridor. Let me impress you with my piloting know-how.

Seriously, why were you alone? I cannot even fathom such a possibility.ĭale: I was. Cause I’m from the 1800’s.ĭale: You’re just saying that to get my mind off things.įlash: Well, that’s literally what you just told me to do. But I’m terrified of turbulence, so please talk to me and get my mind off things.įlash: I couldn’t believe a pretty girl like you was alone, unescorted and thus single. They told me because I’m a famous football player and definitely not a creeper.ĭale: That’s.

Let’s briefly walk through the relationship of Flash and Dale, shall we?įlash: Hey, I saw you at this hotel last night, and instead of coming up and introducing myself, I asked the hotel staff who you were and what you did for a living. Flash Gordon may present the worst case of ‘I Love You I’ve Known You a Day’ that I’ve EVER seen. Personally, I found Hot Hail a little disappointing.Ģ. The buttons in Ming’s ship are labelled thus: Hurricane, Hot Hail, Typhoon, Meteor Storm, Tornado, Earthquake, and Volcanic Eruption. I’m pretty sure he has - back in the 1960’s, when he snuck into the Bat Cave and stole Alfred’s label maker for his Buttons of Destruction.

Ming can pretend he’s never heard of Earth all he wants. There are literal buttons, l abelled buttons. Ming causes worldwide chaos with the touch of a button. Jones), a football star, and Dale Arden (Melody Anderson), a mostly useless love interest, into his rocket - not a euphemism - to save the day.ġ. Hans Zarkov (Chaim Topol), a mad scientist, tricks Flash Gordon (Sam J. But first he wants to play with it, i.e., he causes earthquakes and tornadoes and such all over the world. Thankfully, Dr. When evil alien emperor Ming the Merciless (Max von Sydow) grows bored, he decides to annihilate the Earth.

Melody assistant flashing buttons